i have lost count on fights

as many of you have noticed, both lunches were extended starting monday by 5 minutes. i never noticed there being a problem with the lunch schedule/passing period, but apparently others do not share that with me. so what the heck are we going to do with those extra 5 minutes? my lunch table shares the answer--

1. learn italian
2. do homework (yea right)
3. develop your own "silly walk"
4. express your emotions through artwork made by leftover ranch dressing
5. perfect your "broccoli field goal challenge" technique
6. make a new friend
7. tell stories that are incredibly exciting but totally lie for every second
8. explore the differences in the viscosities of any of the new milk flavors we have
9. explore further why "Orange Smoothie" (1%milkfat) tastes like ranch, tea, and the buttery stuff left after you eat corn (not on country-style corn days, of course)
10. develop your own philosophy into a 1000+ page book
11. write a movie script for the movie "the boy who cried cabbage"

a special thanks to everyone at my lunch table- Derek, Eric, Trey, Stephanie, Kazmyn, Bill, and Lauren. OH and who can forget about our good buddy Jeff Pitts! thank you all!

and now i have said it.... oh yeah.. i went there

Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world! Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "

The Code :

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE (I have failed this one on occasion).

A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. (But he will watch others do it!)

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little wuss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

Of course, there's more.... just you wait

here we are again

a new fad has been sweeping vilonia high and has taken it by storm. everyone's doing it, some twice a week! what is this fashionable trend i'm talking about? in one word: fighting. its all the rage. they're breaking out after band, after school, during lunch, any time you can imagine. so in honor of this new vilonia pastime, a new weekly column will be featured on WHAT NOW: Fight of the Week™ (FTW!)

FIGHT OF THE WEEK

we had two young ladies duke it out friday during lunch. a senior, and a sophomore. the senior (who we'll call "regina") grabbed the sophomore ("louise") by the hair and forcefully removed her from her seat. regina then proceeded to slam louise's face into the concrete floor. louise tried to grab regina's hair, but failed as her head was further nailed to the floor. the on duty teacher then rushed from the front doors and had to struggle to pull regina off of louise. a few minutes later, nothing was left but a pile of black hair on the floor and some eye-witness reports say- blood. regina's hair was a little out of shape, but not nearly as out of shape as louise's face.

i hope this doesn't end up as controversial

vhs fight count: 5

vilonia comes back after a lose last week to beat lakeside last night. they now are at an even 1-1 and an un-updated hootens ranking has us at #18 in the state.

uca is also 2-0 (w/l) and with a large win today, it looks like they are going to be good.

that is all for today, i may post again later, because i actually did get on here to say something useful. oh well. cheerio!

(no title)

the hurricane is devastating. and what countries are there to help? hillary duff gave more than any other country for the relief effort. yet when things go wrong over there its "save me america!" oh well, when the next ice age comes around we will be the longest lasting. (because we are fat)

i got to see mrs brooks friday, and saturday, and sunday (which is to-day) and she said for me to tell each one of you "hello".... so here it is. friday i helped her move stuff at her new bandroom, and saturday we ate dinner with them at MarketPlace. today we ate with them at fazolis.

Saturday was a great day. i made 80 bucks working at Events, and spent maybe 50 of it on priceless toys. first, we found a flea market that was having their "last day going out of business sale" so apparently this is it.. the last day that they'll be going out of business. from here on out, its business. anyway, we found some old records, spent 7 bucks on 10 of them, looked them up on ebay, and we could sell them for about 20 bucks a pop, or 50 for one i saw we had. we then found another flea market (perfectly in business) and bought a record player for 10 bucks. in decent shape. older than my parents, but still works... needs a little bit of adjustment, but give me a few days.

at game exchange (where a friend of mine works) i found an amazing little device. made by Yobo, called the "fc console." basically, it plays old NES (Nintendo Entertainment System, for you young ones) games, straight from the cartrige! original controllers (it supplies new ones) just a new console. i had to buy it. me and my dad have had hours of fun just reliving old times. the origional super mario brothers is on now. dad is, of course, slaughtering me. thats ok, when World Class Track Meet comes around, we'll see who's "still got it in them"

i went golfing today with scott brooks and dr brooks and my dad. me and scott took on the old guys. we, of course, won. i figured we'd be taking scott's shots on every swing of the club, but to my amazement, i was tearin it up. we still took a lot more of his than we did mine, but hey! he works at a freakin golf course.

that is all for now. have a good day.