A few things you should know...
... about Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T skis uphill.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
If people showed the same amount of pity toward the millions of sick and hungry across the world as Mr. T shows toward just one fool, famine and war would be wiped out. But Mr. T would start it again, as the peaceful jibba jabba would sicken him.
Mr. T invented the colors red, yellow, green, brown, and gray. Just because he could.
Mr. T is the Dance Dance Revolution World Champion.
Mr. T once challenged Samson to a duel because he thought he was a pretty boy. Samson's hair didn't stand a chance against Mr. T's mohawk, and he was pitied into submission. The Philistines rejoiced until Mr. T scowled at their jibba jabba, whereupon their temple collapsed from the immense weight of the pity laid upon it.
Mr. T's mowhawk is actually made of 1.5 inch steel pins, much like a porcupine quill. He uses them to headbutt unsuspecting homeless people.
Mr. T can stare at the sun.
ou walk up to Mr. T and say, "You're my idol." He will look at you with one eye until you turn to stone, thinking that's what you wanted.
Mr. T eats cancer for breakfast.
TAKE THAT MASON
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Yoda had two sons. To one he taught pity, to the other he gave the gift of the beard.
One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Mr. T skis uphill.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
If people showed the same amount of pity toward the millions of sick and hungry across the world as Mr. T shows toward just one fool, famine and war would be wiped out. But Mr. T would start it again, as the peaceful jibba jabba would sicken him.
Mr. T invented the colors red, yellow, green, brown, and gray. Just because he could.
Mr. T is the Dance Dance Revolution World Champion.
Mr. T once challenged Samson to a duel because he thought he was a pretty boy. Samson's hair didn't stand a chance against Mr. T's mohawk, and he was pitied into submission. The Philistines rejoiced until Mr. T scowled at their jibba jabba, whereupon their temple collapsed from the immense weight of the pity laid upon it.
Mr. T's mowhawk is actually made of 1.5 inch steel pins, much like a porcupine quill. He uses them to headbutt unsuspecting homeless people.
Mr. T can stare at the sun.
ou walk up to Mr. T and say, "You're my idol." He will look at you with one eye until you turn to stone, thinking that's what you wanted.
Mr. T eats cancer for breakfast.
TAKE THAT MASON
posted by Jon at 8:33:00 PM
2 Comments:
i'm sorry, but i think mason still has you beat...the mr. t stuff is funny once you've read about half-way through, but any one statement about chuck norris can be funny...i'm sorry...i did find myself laughing though...i used to like watching mr. t blow stuff up too, that might be why it's not quite as funny, chuck norris has always been a douche/panzy...
i'm sorry chuck. mr t is the man. chuck norris aint got nothin!
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